Reflexion Sentiment Stupéfiant (Remembering Feeling Amazing)

Why are perfect memories so unfixed? Why can't we remember intricate details of our most blissful experiences, but can remember the average rainfall in Zimbabwe, that you were taught in high school geography?

It's 107mm, the average rainfall in Zimbabwe.

Saffron could hardly recall the details of her weekend. She just knew it felt amazing. She could feel the memories, trying to grab at them, to hold them, felt impossible. Is this self defense, she wondered. If I were able to hold these memories, even for a second, would the intensity kill me?

Instead when she tried all she could recall was warmth, words and sensations. Remembering her experience in non-lethal slices.

"F**king you feels amazing," he said.

Attached to this slice of memory was an awareness of his hands on her hips as he knelt behind her, entering her slowly and firmly. She could feel all of him , every inch of him contacted her and sent the most luxurious sensations through her entire body. The memory feels so warm, she felt weak. She could remember that this was the 5th or 6th time that they had sex on that Friday night. As she explored that single slice of memory, like a catalyst, more memory slices revealed themselves.

She recollects stradling him, kissing him and moving her body against his. As he lent forward pushing her backwards, she let go of him, to steady herself. "I've got you," he said.

She remembers him running his hands down her semi-naked body as she lay on his couch. His fingers hooking around the side of her underwear before removing them."Turn over" he said. Obediently she did so, she felt his tongue inside her, the sensation was electric as his tongue skimmed the outside of her.

She recalls kissing him passionately in his kitchen. She wanted to taste him. Walking him backwards, in the way that that lovers do, ensconced in one another while also weary of unforeseen obstacles. She pushed him against the wall, her fists held clumps of the cotton of his shirt with impatience. Kneeling she pushed the fabric aside and kissed his stomach, undid his jeans and sunk her mouth onto him. When she returned to kissing his lips. "I have a confession, I like it when you use your tongue,"he said.

Putting together the pieces of her experience like a collage the memories made her happy. Remembering feeling amazing.